


there's nothing more romantic than dying with your friends

by Jura_lyn



Series: I'm leaving tomorrow morning [14]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Brothers but not brothers but still family, Concerned Wilbur Soot, Happy TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Miscommunication, Protective Wilbur Soot, Suicide Notes, Valentine's Day, discord message
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 22:42:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30146709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jura_lyn/pseuds/Jura_lyn
Summary: “It sounds like you’re going to kill yourself,” Tubbo eventually says.“I don’t see it,” Tommy says.“I love you, please never forget that,” Tubbo reads out loud. “This definitely sounds like a suicide note,”“It doesn’t sound like a suicide note, you’re just imagining things,” Tommy exclaims“Don’t come running to me when Wil thinks you committed suicide,” Tubbo exclaims.orTommy wants to show that he loves Wilbur like brothers but he words it wrong, Wil freaks out.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: I'm leaving tomorrow morning [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986931
Comments: 31
Kudos: 376





	there's nothing more romantic than dying with your friends

**Author's Note:**

> Did I write a Valentine's fic a month after Valentine?  
> yes
> 
> Did I listen to the moana sound track while writing this?  
> yes
> 
> Do I care?  
> no

Tommy’s parents always celebrated Valentine with the people they love. They didn’t celebrate it on their own, though. They always made sure to make every person they love know how much they mean to them. Some people judged them for it, but they never cared enough to stop the tradition.

Tommy never truly understood how you could love someone platonically. He found the concept of loving someone, but not wanting to be in a relationship with them abnormal. Looking back at it, that’s probably society’s fault for portraying love that way.

He also never understood the purpose of Valentine. It’s basically just a publicity stunt for people to buy more chocolate and flowers. If you truly love someone, then you should be able to show your love every single day.

He understands it now. He understands loving someone so much, but almost gagging at the thought of having a romantic relationship. He understands wanting to show them that you love them on a day like Valentine could be seen as an honor.

He still thinks it’s a publicity stunt, but he’ll still take time out of his day to let all his friends know that he loves them platonically with his whole heart.

That’s how he got here in this position. He’s in a call with Tubbo, freaking out because he may have not been so prepared to be vulnerable in front of the person he calls family jokingly.

“Look, Tommy,” Tubbo sighs, desperately wanting to strangle Tommy for hesitating so much and hug him for thinking about something so sweet “Wilbur won’t hate you, when has he ever said that you're annoying?”

“A lot of times, actually. He has called me annoying a lot when we used to play among us,” Tommy says. Yeah, sure, it was a bit and Wilbur probably didn’t mean it, but at the time he was really hurt because of it.

“He never meant anything by it. Let me rephrase, has he ever called you annoying when it wasn’t jokingly and when it wasn’t a bit?” Sure, Tubbo may have a point. It doesn’t calm his nerves though. Wilbur may think that he’s annoying, without saying it aloud.

This is too difficult for Tommy, he should just leave it alone, pretend he doesn’t understand the purpose of Valentine and just move on. That would be ten times easier than any of this being genuine thing.

He groans, hitting his head on the table repeatedly. Why does he have to make everything so difficult for himself? He opens Wil’s discord and he puts his hands on the keyboard. How does he even begin? How long should it be? Too short wouldn’t be genuine enough, he thinks. Too long may be a bit overwhelming on Wil’s part.

He doesn’t want Wil to make a big deal about it, he doesn’t want Wil to call him up and tell him that Tommy’s wonderful and that he feels the same way as Tommy does, and that the jokes about being brothers may be a bit more than just jokes.

He doesn’t want to think about the worst-case scenario.

He surely doesn’t want to lose Wil because he thinks that they’re just like friends with benefits. But the benefits are the grind instead of the other thing which it usually stands for. Wil feels like the closest family he has right now.

Maybe he should write his thoughts down.

“You can just start by saying: Hey Wilby,” Tubbo proposes. Tommy nearly forgot that Tubbo was in the call. It takes him a second to realize what Tubbo has actually said.

“I called him Wilby fucking once, I’m not going to make a Valentine text thing and begin with hey fucking Wilby,” Tommy exclaims. He can hear Tubbo snicker in the background. Sometimes Tubbo can really be so useless. He mentally curses every curse word he knows before taking a breath and focusing back on discord.

“I think he wouldn’t mind though,” Tubbo jokes. Tommy can almost hear his grin from the other side of the call.

“Unless you’re either going to give me good advice, or let me think, I won’t hesitate to tweet that we’re officially not friends anymore,” Tommy threatens. Tubbo doesn’t seem bothered by the threat, still sniggering silently.

“I guess I’ll just shut up then,” Tommy sighs. He should start simple. The whole thing should be simple, he shouldn’t think about it too much.

_Hey Wilbur_

Why is this stressing him out so much? The sound of a piano can be heard from the other end of the call. He truly has to restrain himself from killing Tubbo right now. He ends the call and he goes to Twitter, ignoring Tubbo calling him again.

**Tommyinnit** @Tommyinnit

_My friendship with Tubbo is officially over._

The likes and replies pour in in less than a second, but Tommy pays no mind, returning to his task. Just write something genuine.

_Hey Wilbur_

_I may not always say how special you are for me, but you are someone I really love and care for._

_We joke a lot about being like brothers, but I genuinely mean it. You’re the closest family I have, even though I might never say it out loud._

_I love you_

_Please never forget that_

It’s probably a bit too cheesy for Tommy’s taste, but it’s all he can come up with right now, so it’s good enough. He doesn’t dare press the send button. Wilbur probably doesn’t actually think like that about him anyway.

Tubbo calls him again. He accepts.

“Tommy, you fucking bitch,” Tubbo says the moment he accepts the call.

“Hey big T, I’m sending you what I wrote,” Tommy ignores Tubbo’s angry remarks. He can hear Tubbo sigh. The silence after is scary for Tommy. Tubbo will probably think he shouldn’t do this, who sends Valentine messages to their friends anyway.

“It sounds like you’re going to kill yourself,” Tubbo eventually says. Tommy almost falls out of his chair. Sure it’s cheesy, but does it really sound like he’s going to fucking jump of a bridge or something. Yeah, he has some bad days. Doesn’t everyone have those anyway?

He rereads the message, but he can’t find where he would kill himself “I don’t see it,” Tommy says. He isn’t a specialist, but he doesn’t think a suicide note would look like that.

“I love you, please never forget that,” Tubbo reads out loud. Tommy doesn’t get what Tubbo is trying to say here “This definitely sounds like a suicide note,” Tommy sighs. He would know if it sounded like a suicide note.

“It doesn’t sound like a suicide note, you’re just imagining things,” Tommy exclaims. “You’re just making me more nervous, I’m just sending it,” Tommy presses the send button. He immediately regrets that though. Oh, fuck. He should delete it before Wil sees it.

“Don’t come running to me when Wil thinks you committed suicide,” Tubbo exclaims. Tommy ignores him in favor of trying to delete the message. He’s too late though. Wil has seen the message.

“This was a fucking terrible idea,” Tommy eventually concludes. This was worse than a terrible idea. This is worse than anything he has done before. Why does he only have bad ideas?

“You’re right, making a Valentine message sound like a suicide note is one of the worst ideas you have had yet,” Tubbo’s voice is teasing. Tommy wants to leave this earth, just so he doesn’t have to encounter Wil ever again.

He quickly closes his discord, muting his alerts. He doesn’t want to see Wil’s reaction. He understands too late that he accidentally ended the call with Tubbo when he closed discord. It doesn’t matter though. He regrets every decision he has ever made that made him end up in this situation.

He should just drink his feelings away, just like some people do all the time. He takes the half-full cola can, drinking everything in one gulp. He has to get out of this fucking house. It’s getting too hot in here. He stands up, quickly grabbing a sweater lying forgotten on his bed. He hesitates but decides to take his phone with him.

If anything was to happen, he has to be able to call someone.

He sends his mother a quick message, telling her that he’s going out and that he should be back in a few hours or so.

He doesn’t wait for his mother to reply. He just wants to be in the cold air, pushing the building shame away and just relax for a second.

He knows that what he did was stupid, he shouldn’t have sent that message. Wilbur has told him more than once that he’d cry if Tommy would call him his brother. That certainly can’t be a good thing, can it?

He doesn’t know where he’s going. He hasn’t been out of the house a lot lately. He always preferred the endless talks with Tubbo while editing one of his videos, over going outside and be social. He also isn’t used to being recognized yet. It’s kind of weird champ.

He takes a deep breath. His headache lessens a bit because of the outside air. He’s just overthinking. He should just call Wilbur, tell him that it was a bet from Tubbo, and just deal with the shame. Wil has told him countless times that he’s mature for his age. He never saw it, but everyone seems to agree.

He ends up in a park he went to a lot when he was younger. In the summer, he would be here almost the whole day, playing in the grass with his friends. He didn’t have to think about keeping everyone happy while keeping his annoying façade on.

He sits down on the grass. He wouldn’t say it’s a sunny day. Grey clouds cover the sky. It doesn’t look like it’ll rain but Tommy hopes that if it does, that he’ll already be back at home. He really doesn’t want to get wet today.

He closes his eyes, lying down on his back. The calmness of the outside calms him down. He feels the stress leave his body. Maybe he should get outside more. Wil always told him to get outside more, even if he never did it himself.

The sound of birds seems to sound further away, the wind on his face seems to go away for no reason. His thoughts slip away before he can do anything to stop it. Everything fades to black.

========

To put it kindly

Wilbur was freaking the fuck out

A few days back, he got the idea to secretly meet up with Tommy on Valentine’s day. He normally doesn’t really do anything for the day, but he wanted to show Tommy how much he truly loves him, even outside of the jokes.

He was already driving for almost six hours, almost at Tommy’s house, when he received a message from Tommy. At first, Wil was confused, Tommy doesn’t normally text him this early. He opened the message, trying to still focus on the road.

The message immediately warmed his heart. Wil hoped Tommy felt the same way about their weird relationship thing that they have going. Brothers but not brothers but still family. Some would say it’s confusing, but Wil wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

That warm feeling changed quickly to gut-killing fear when he reads the last sentence.

He has written way too many suicide notes himself throughout the years to know what Tommy was implying. He almost drives into the side of the road when the words process in his brain. That couldn’t be true, could it?

It’s Tommy, the loud always happy guy who could warm Wil’s heart by just existing, the person who Wil leaves his bed for almost every day.

_How did he miss the signs, where did it go wrong?_

Tommy’s status changes to invisible, making the panic course through him even quicker. He calls Tommy back quickly, praying to whatever god is out there that Tommy’ll pick up the god damn phone.

With every ring, Wil gets more panicked. He keeps driving to Tommy’s house, hoping that Tommy hasn’t left yet.

What if he’s already dead?

The call goes to voice mail. Wil calls again. Tommy can’t do this, Wil will do anything for Tommy to stay alive, to talk to him and tell him what is happening in that head of him.

He wants to throw the phone out of the car when the call goes to voice mail once again. He doesn’t have time for this, he needs to find him as quickly as possible.

He vaguely remembers the stupid tracking app Tommy made Wil download as a joke. Tommy said that he always wanted to know where he is so he can stalk him all the time.

Wil parks the car in the first empty spot that he can find, closing discord on his phone searching for the stupid app he has somewhere in this phone.

He feels a bit relieved when he sees the red icon of the stupid app. He presses on it quickly, cussing the app out for going so slow.

The little map shows up on his screen. He can see Tommy’s phone just a few hundred meters away from where he’s parked right now. He pushes the car door open, probably forgetting to lock the car, running to the icon of Tommy’s phone.

What if he’s too late, what if Tommy already kicked the bucket right in his face?

He arrives in a park of sorts. The sky is quite grey so there weren’t a lot of people outside. It makes it easier for Wil to see Tommy’s body lying down on the grass, eyes closed, face rested.

He looks a little too unresponsive for Wil’s liking.

“TOMMY,”

========

Falling asleep in a park when you told your mom you would be home fairly quick wouldn’t be ideal. If he won’t be abducted by a random dude then he would be totally too late for his mom’s liking.

He can faintly hear his name being said, but Tommy blames it on his dream imagination. Although he was never this aware of what actually happens inside of his dreams. Maybe it’s one of those things that he reads that you actually live in your dreams but you just forget the second you wake up.

He hopes he won’t forget this, he hasn’t been this peaceful in a while.

The peacefulness is quickly disturbed, in Tommy’s annoyance. He feels himself being shaken out of the dreamy haze he was in moments before. Why does everyone want to take his peace and quiet away all the time?

He opens his eyes dazedly, expecting some random dude to have seen him, and thinks to himself ‘maybe I should help that sixteen-year-old who seemed to have fallen asleep in the middle of a park’. Wilbur is one of the last people he expected to appear in front of his eyes, though.

Tommy squints his eyes, thinking he’s still dreaming. He can’t help but murmur Wil’s name in confusion. In further expecting, Wil looks very concerned at him.

He wakes up fully when he understands what this actually means. Wilbur is in front of him, in flesh and bones. The man he was so worried about sending a stupid message this morning is standing right in front of him.

Wil’s arms were around him before he can truly process it.

Tommy pushes out of the hug, confusing Wil.

“Wilbur? What the fuck are you doing here?” Tommy exclaims, backing away, still processing that he fucking fell asleep in the park. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Brighton or some shit?” Wil doesn’t answer him, he just keeps staring at Tommy. Tommy just stares back, not sure about what to do.

“You’ll catch a fly like that,” Tommy eventually says, still confused as to why the fuck Wilbur Soot is right in front of him, looking like he saw a ghost. This seems to bring Wil out of his haze, blinking quickly.

“I’m sorry, Tommy,” That wasn’t what Tommy expected to hear at all, “I didn’t know, and I feel so bad because it’s something I have struggled with so much and I should’ve noticed something,” The more Wilbur talks, the more Tommy’s confusion grows.

_What the fuck is he talking about?_

“I also think of you as my brother, even when I joke that it’s just a bit because it’s not a bit. I love you so much Tommy and you have no idea how happy I am that you didn’t do anything because I don’t know what I would have done if you did,” Wilbur has officially lost it, Tommy concludes. He did say that in his message, but Wil looks on the verge of tears.

Tommy has never seen Wil cry.

“Okay, big man, I’ll stop you right there,” Tommy laughs quickly “What the fuck are you talking about?” Now it’s Wil’s turn to be confused. They really should get better at communicating.

“The message?” Wil sounds like he isn’t sure of it himself.

“Okay, I was genuine for once, called you my brother, told you I love you. Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” Tommy has given up on trying to know what’s going on in Wil’s head, because he’s lost.

“You weren’t going to kill yourself?” Tommy is filled with shock. Then it grows to understanding.

“Why does everyone think that that was a suicide note,” Tommy exclaims “I just can’t see it, I never said ‘Hey Wil, I’m gonna kick the bucket. Bye’ like, what the fuck,” Tommy runs his hand through his hair. Does he look suicidal or something?

“Tubbo also said that it sounded like I was going to kill myself, but I was like ‘Why would I be suicidal, I’m TommyInnit’ was it the exile arc or something?”

Wil’s arm around him shuts him up from his rant. This isn’t how Tommy imagined their second meet-up to look like. He imagined it with all the sleepy bois together. Not that he complains. He rather enjoys this bone-crushing hug.

“I was so scared, Toms. You weren’t responding so I assumed the worst,” Wilbur’s voice is still frantic, but a bit more relaxed. Tommy feels a bit bad. He doesn’t know how he’d react if Wil would send him a suicide note.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to tell you that I love you, even if I don’t show it all the time,” Tommy whispers. Wil hugs him even tighter, if that’s even possible, before letting him go and drying his tears that spilled uncontrollably over his cheeks.

“I’m just happy you’re alright,” Tommy grins at him, because Wilbur is here in front of him. Just thinking about all the stupid things they could do made him forget all the stress from the morning.

“Wanna go create some chaos, big man?” Tommy asks, grinning. Wil lets out a watery laugh, nodding before standing up and helping Tommy to stand up.

“What do you have planned?” Wil asks, glad to listen to the endless banter of chaos coming from the young boy. A chaos he wasn’t sure he would ever hear again.

If Tommy and Wilbur call way more than before, falling asleep with each other almost every night, neither of the two ever mentioned it.

**Author's Note:**

> would anyone want to answer 4 questions about high school?  
> I need 100 responses and I have like 6 friends  
> If you want to -> https://forms.gle/c7NaaQQGqq9z4sxh9  
> btw I might have to ask to do this a second time, I don't know how this works
> 
> I'm desperate
> 
> anyway, I hope you enjoyed
> 
> iamque vale  
> ('and now farewell' in Latin)


End file.
